I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize