He uses pillows to masturbate.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
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