thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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