Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
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