So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
