apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
