It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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