the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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