Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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