i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize