Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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