I just pynch a tree in the face
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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