I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
