We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
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