On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
