I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
