i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
