Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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