His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize