did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
