she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
How naked do you want me to be?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
