Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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