Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
