but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
