i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
