I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
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