Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
