Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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