I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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