So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
