Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
