ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Who wears a wallet chain?!
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
