Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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