Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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