she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
