Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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