My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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