There was a lot of him and a little penis
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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