i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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