guys are not supposed to queef...right?
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
