She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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