she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
we have officially lost it.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
