Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize