im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
