Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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