Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize