you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
