some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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