dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
