I'm going to rape someone's good day.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize
