Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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