I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
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i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
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She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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