and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
