You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
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