i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
